The tween years might be the most important period for change and development in our growing kids’ lives. And as parents of those tweens, we’re also entering into one of the most challenging times we’ll have to experience. Think about it: both childhood and the teen years are quite simple (not easy, just simple). Kids jump from utter joy to sheer turmoil in an instant, loving playtime and positively hating boundaries. And teens dive deep into rebelliousness, moodiness, drawing their own boundaries and basically figuring out how to grow themselves into independent adults.

But the years from 8 – 12? Those can be much more complicated. This is because children possess several characteristics that keep us considering them as ‘kids’ whilst having to accept slight and subtle changes that foreshadow the oncoming teen years.

So to help you navigate these stormy seas, we’ve created a list of easy-to-remember parenting tips for those dealing with tweens. We hope you can use it to make this transition a smooth one!

Encourage activity

The tween years come with a slew of surprising emotional and physical changes. This can lead to severe ups and downs when it comes to their mental health. You can help them prepare for this by encouraging them to enter into team sports, or even any other regular physical activity, that they can take with them through their early teen years. By providing them with a physical outlet for a lot of their internal strife, you’re giving them a calming and grounding place they can return to, when times get a little tough.

Spend time together

The tween years are the first time our kids begin to pull away from us. And that can be a very daunting experience to first-time parents. And although you do want to give them all the space they require, be sure to make an extra effort to be involved in their lives in a positive way. If you’re spending quality time with them, when they’re happy or otherwise, you’re building trust and companionship that will come in handy when they need a shoulder to lean on, an ear to hear them, or a leader to guide them.

Choose your battles

No matter what approaches you take, how empathetic you try to be, or how present you keep yourself — when kids round those tween years, you’re going to have to expect some conflict. A good way to curb that conflict is to anticipate it. When your not-so-little one begins picking a fight, take a step back and think about whether whatever you’re arguing about is worth fighting for. Remember, you don’t want to create an environment where everyday is the start of a new disagreement. Save those battles for when they really might be doing something unethical, dangerous or destructive.

Keep an eye on what they’re consuming

Now during this time period, you’re going to have to find the balance between encouraging independence, and still being there to guide them. This is nowhere truer than when it comes to the media they consume. Kids, teens and tweens are being hit by an onslaught of influences and information on social media and nightly television. So do your best to watch the shows they want to watch, and ask them what they’ve been seeing on social media. Do this subtly, and they probably won’t feel the need to put those walls up.

Never take things personally

You’re about to enter into the wild times of adolescence and young adulthood. This is when our children are branching out, facing fears, and overcoming so much to try and formulate their identities. So forgive them for being a little prickly, on edge, and ready to argue. Remember that no matter what they say (or what faces they pull), it isn’t a judgment on your parenting, or how much you love them. It’s just a natural part of growing up. So be sure to take every tantrum, every slamming door, every side eye — in stride. It’s only natural after all.

At Ocean Pediatrics, we are dedicated to helping you give your family the tools and resources to stay happy and healthy — every step of the way. We hope our tween parenting tips allow you to help them navigate this fun and difficult (and fun again) period in their lives. If you have any questions about your children’s health and well-being, feel free to contact us today at ocean-pediatrics.com. Until then, happy parenting!